the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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