My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
