im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
