My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
