i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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