you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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