She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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