I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
