The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
