Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
