At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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