woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
