i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
