Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
