ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
