His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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