Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
