I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
