i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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