I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
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