when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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