How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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