Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
