We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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