11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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