your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
