soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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