But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
