On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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