I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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