Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize