I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
