Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
