Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i think i have herpe
just one?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I need water and some morals
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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