No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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