There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
