Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize