I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
They took my balls.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
