but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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