That's intense
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
