Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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