Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
