My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
