No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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