After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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