It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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