ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
