I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
