He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
