I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
