were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i came on her dog
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?