I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
