i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
