Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
