I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
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What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
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can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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