you guys were way drunker than both of me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do vagina's smell?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
