Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize