now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I cockslap morals
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
