The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
