The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
