walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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