okay pat passed out under dana's car
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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