Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
