i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
