I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
