I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
