I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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